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5 Surprising Consequences of Emotional Eating

5 Surprising Consequences of Emotional Eating

Everybody knows about the health risks of overeating. What some people don't know is that emotional eating is the biggest factor in overeating. Without understanding emotional eating, losing weight is virtually impossible.

Overeating and emotional eating, however, have many hidden consequences. Below are five you should consider.

1. It Can Damage Your Relationships
Relationship stress is one of the most common triggers for overeaters. When there's tension, or in the aftermath of a fight, food seems like a safe haven. Once in a while, this escape into flavor is normal.

However, the more accustomed you get to the relief, the sooner and more frequently you will turn to food when the going gets rough in a relationship. Instead of working through your differences in the living room with your spouse, friend, or family member, you will find yourself making a trip to the kitchen at the very first sign of tension. As time goes on, problems pile up in the relationship, tensions build, and tempers flair. The habit of turning to food for comfort gets so ingrained that you don't learn the necessary skills of communicating, getting needs met and deepening intimacy. Over time your relationships don't get better, you just get bigger.

2. You Neglect Your Ambitions
Many people overeat to relieve frustration with where their life is going. You might feel stuck or under-appreciated, and turn to food as a reward. When this habit gets out of hand, you will begin to neglect your ambitions. Instead of going out there and pursuing long-terms goals, you will more and more frequently turn to food for fulfillment.

One of our members, Susan, shared an interesting story with us on this point. She said that most of her life she wanted to be writer, but she always criticized herself for not being "good enough." She felt stuck. Her ambitions felt out of reach and she began turning to food for comfort. After a while, she stopped writing all together and used food as a way to push down her disappointment. Instead of working on her craft she just gave up.

Luckily, Susan was able to break this pattern. She saw how emotional eating was interfering with any chance she had of reaching her goals. When she got her emotional eating under control she started to write again.

3. It Bottles Up Your Feelings
It's obvious that emotional eating pushes down unpleasant feelings. In the moment, this seems like a great thing. "Wow, I get to eat and not feel like crap!" It feels win-win.

However, feelings need to be addressed. They demand to be addressed. You might be able to avoid them for a while, but the important ones will keep coming back in new, unpleasant ways. The more you overeat to deal with your emotions the more emotions pile up in the background, waiting to come out. And the bigger that pile gets, the more frightening it becomes.

4. It Makes Your Fears Seems Larger Than Life
Everyone has something they don't want to think about. It could be a challenge waiting on the horizon, or a particular shortcoming you think you might have. Many emotional eaters use food as a way to handle these sorts of fears. Rather than address the fear with practical, no-nonsense solutions and steps, you retreat into food.

The emotional eating habit prevents you from facing your fears directly. This allows them to take on a whole life of their own. Rather than being a simple challenge or self-doubt, they begin to grow and grow until they seem impossible to face. When a fear feels so large, eating begins to feel even more alluring.

5. It Can Make It Hard to Love Yourself
Anyone that truly knows the pain and struggle of overeating knows how much baggage comes along with it. Much in the same way relapsing smokers and alcoholics beat themselves up and belittle themselves for their lack of control, emotional eaters feel like their struggle is a moral failing, something that's wrong with them. Many describe themselves as "failures" or "losers." Despite having achieved many great things in their life, the emotional eating habit determines how they feel about themselves. This negative self-image, of course, leads to more emotional eating. It's a vicious cycle that steals your self-esteem.

Conclusion
Each of the examples above shows how emotional eating and overeating affect more than just your body and health. The problem becomes a self-sustaining cycle. While stuck in the cycle, it usually feels impossible to get out.

The good news is that escaping the cycle is possible, and that it's even easier than it feels. The key is to start making small, positive changes. Instead of eating after a fight, go to your spouse and talk about it. Instead of feeling frustrated, find a small thing you can do to move closer to your goals. You won't all of a sudden have a perfect relationship or achieve your dreams. However, these small steps begin to snowball, just like emotional eating, but in a positive direction. The more you make small, positive changes, the less you will eat, which will make you feel better, which will make you eat less, which will make you feel better, and so on.

The bottom line is that these sorts of consequences to emotional eating are real and difficult to bear. But, it's possible to escape the cycle and end emotional eating.

41 Comments In the order they were posted.

Caroline said...

Help me!!

Sarah said...

I need your help!

Nancy said...

Sounds easy, but if you have been stuffing yourself all your live it is VERY hard to change.

Anita said...

I thought the same thing about it is very hard to change. Although this is very true, you have to want to do it for you, No one else, just you. I decided that my health was more important than all the comfort foods. If I wanted to be around to see my grandchildren grow up I needed to change something. You'll feel better inside and out. I could not have done it alone though, the power of prayer works wonders and can keep you on track

Shoua said...

I can gain weight easily and lose it fast too. I lose weight when i'm too busy thinking about it. My job, life, and family keeps me busy 24/7. That's when I forget about food, and with all that I'm constantly walking whether it's to my car, pick up the kids, play witht he kids etc...it's still burn calaries.

Ashley said...

I don't know how to stop.. but I want to learn.

Heather said...

The comments under the heading of Making it Harder to Love Yourself nearly blew me away. I'd never, ever thought that I was so hard on myself I hope this new knowledge will help at last - I've been comfort eating since I was 12 and I'm now 66!!! Seems I need to be a lot more gentle with myself.....

B said...

Wow...Right on the head with all of them! Now what though? I need help too!

Gail Venter said...

It always sound easier than it is but these articles have helped me because it has help me recognize and start to face the issue. Thanks

Pam said...

I am a recovering alcoholic for 7.5 years and an ex-smoker for almost 2 years. That was easy compared to overcoming emotional eating. All the things I read are absolutely me but is it as simple as making little changes? It seems like a mountain!

marcy said...

I have always used food to repress my feelings of not being good enough, no matter how much I do accomplish, I feel it's not good enough. It feels good to be understood, when I read the articles here.

Yvonne said...

I am in recovery for several addictions, food being one of them. I am an emotional eater. I will be 45 this year and have been using food for emotional support and cover up since i was 4. It is very hard to give this up, not impossible though. You have to use the tools of recovery to help you every day and the living and practicing the 12 steps in my life give me the greatest source of strength and support. I am worth it and I finally believe it after all these years of self destruction. I am a survivor and my life is worth more to me than it ever was. Good luck and blessings to us all who suffer from emotional eating

Baylis said...

This is good. I found a website that helps with food addictions, among other addictions. It is called setting captives free, and it is awesome. Go to the site and look for food under addiction courses. It helped me and my sister, and I am still working through the lessons.

J said...

This is the biggest secret I keep. I soothe myself and then loathe myself. How do I ever consistenly stop? More importantly, how do I not instill the same habits in my children?

Rosemary said...

These articles have really helped. I think coming to terms with the fact you have an illness is a huge step, and the biggest factor helping me is to find out what emotions i have been bottling up. It is straining on my long-term relationship, and my strength and will power are taking over every thought, but it is worth every second!! I found one of my bottled emotions was hatred for the way i look...i now feel determined to lose weight and not binge as once i feel good in my body, i wont NEED to binge as much! Hope everyone can find the strength i have!!

Jacqui said...

Yes , I agree with lots that is written here, but what are the statistics for mental breakdown, whilst dieting and trying to recover from emotional eating? I think the Health Service has an impossible task on it`s hands trying to deal with the obese issue . I have achieved so much in my life, given up smoking too, but , understanding all the issues, dieting and piling on the pounds again, countless times leaves me without much hope of a cure. I see myself carrying on in the unhealthy yo yo dieting style that I have become accustomed to , it is ingrained, part of me unfortunately.

Martina said...

Stop punishing yourselves.Sincerely,you all just need to let go.I have.

Megan said...

I have never been anywhere close to my healthy weight range since I was 5. I don't know what it feels like to be healthy/skinny - I don't know what it is that I am missing out on. I don't know who I am underneath the weight. It is easier to think that I am unhappy because of my weight. How would I cope if it turns out that I don't like myself regardless of weight. What happens then?

Carrie said...

The main motivator for me has been this: learning to like yourself through keeping your own promises to yourself. How you do you feel when someone close to you tells you they'll do something and then they don't? You'd be mad, right? The same holds true to yourself: If you tell yourself you'll do something and don't, you won't like yourself. SO, it's going to suck, it's going to be emotionally strapping. Stopping yourself from eating when you WANT to and tasty treats are in front of you is physically going to being nearly impossible for awhile, but you just HAVE to push through it and keep some simple promises to yourself. I've been doing it for 2 months now and I PROMISE keeping that promise to yourself, not to eat unless you're actually hungry, will keep getting easier and your stomach will get used to a healthy amount of food. I also PROMISE that it'll still be hard! My husband has had to listen to a LOT of my ramblings and bad moods about how I wanted to eat but I didn't- I complained instead and let out my frustrations.

keri said...

All of these thins are SO true.BUT how canI stop from seeing food as my only real "friend" in life.I just can't seem to make those small steps recommended to start to feel good about myself.

Ida Kendall said...

Emotional eating IS the hardest part of food management, that's for sure. As a behaviorist in private practice for 17 years, I work with people on 2 main issues for emotional eating: not speaking their truth in the moment, and surpressed angry expression - often at the maternal authority figures from the past. Speak up! Speak out! It helps to balance the energies. Also, don't stay up late people, the hormones rev up again and encourage us to eat. 10 - 11 pm bedtime lets your body rest.

Ana said...

It feels as if the monster has grabbed me again...and it will not let go. All I can think of is food. I am married to a doctor who, unfortunately, has no understanding of my disease and who often blames me for my inability to control that and who makes me feel like a failure even more, because I am often not able to keep my word and stay away from overeating! So he worried about me...and then blames me!!!!!! ! I feel so lost and alone!!! Help me!

E said...

I feel like an addict how can I stop overeating I can not relax until I am stuffed, please help

Ali said...

I have realised recently with the help of a very good friend that i do have an addiction to food. Most of the time its on my mind and when its not its probably because im actually eatingbingingi have tryed lots of different ways to overcome it but never seem to get any wher, i suppose now its down to will powerwhich again is rather difficulti too am very hard on myself and constantly have battles in my head with me but im really doing my best to ease up and slow down and remember that ALL IS WELL!

Rose said...

For the past few years I have been aware that my overeating was much more than just eating the wrong foods and lack of willpower. It is so maddening when someone well-meaning says something like, "Why don't you just cut out fat?" or bread or snacks, etc.Since joining this program I've been feeling so much better about myself and HOPEFUL for the first time in many years. I haven't lost much weight yet, about 5lbs in 8 weeks, but I can say no to eating more and don't feel panic- stricken when faced with a meal out, that I used to feel that I HAD to eat because the food was there. Now I can listen to my body and not want to eat too much as it makes me feel uncomfortable. Even if I didn't lose any more, and I certainly do need to! I have more confidence and self respect and have made a few positive changes in my relationships. I feel that I AM worthy of consideration and don't need to be a doormat. My life is no longer constantly dominated by food. Thank you for a wonderful program!

emma said...

i am a emotional binge eater i have recently been diagnosed i detest looking in the mirror,i think i am also a failure in whatever i do i am currently being seen

jeanie said...

I need your help to save my life to put a stop to this eating. thank you jeanie

mj said...

I think I need an action plan. How about the rest of you? I can certainly relate in some way to all the comments, but I guess after reading a few of these articles, I think I need to come clean with my own feelings, perhaps journal why I want to eat whenever I think about emotional eating. Mostly my issues are feeling so overwhelmed in life and I guess not really feeling comfortable/good enough around others.

seonaid mackenzie said...

I went to OA this week, and met many people like myself, i never realised i was an addict, yo-yo weight for 42 years, and used food as a weapon. my husband in AA, addicts attract but he is getting much better

Tricia said...

At the age of 49 I was diagnosed with ADD. That explains a lot about my low self-worth. I have managed all these years by stuffing myself with food so I would not feel that I was so different from everyone else. That is how I cope with everything in my life now, I don't know any other way. Now it has come down to my health and quality of life. I must do something, but whatever I do it has to make sense to me and be explained in a very clear manner. I have done years of therapy but never got down to the real reasons for my overeating.

sara said...

I feel so helpless, i have so many blocked emotions that I have covered up with binge eating for the past 16 yrs of my life. I feel totally miserable when I eat too much and then feel fantastic when I have done really well, its like an emotional roller coaster and I have tried everything from diets to gyms to weight loss clubs and I need to come to terms that this will need to be dealt with by taking a really good look at how I got to this stage in the first place, it isnt easy but i am hoping this program helps , i need to find inner peace with myself.

Sherry said...

TO ANNA: Your Dr. is a co-dependant! He needs help. I know because I am one to my alcoholic husband. I'm also an overeater. Don't let him make you feel worse than you already do. Ask him to dis-engage from your struggles! His negativity just makes it worse for you. Good luck

Michelle said...

It's a huge misconception that if you can't adhere to a sensible eating plan that it's because you have no willpower. Without an understanding of Emotional Eating you have no choice of winning the diet game.

Terri said...

I read your comments and I know your pain. I am in the 3rd week of this program, and I promise you, I am getting better already. I have had some very good conversations with my husband, revealed some feelings I have been stuffing. The world didn't cave in. In fact, it felt freeing! Better than overeating, as difficult as talking about my feelings were. You need to know, if you think it is impossible to stop emotional eating, then it will be. Don't be afraid to hope. Try this program, it works. I know I will be free of my overeating, etc...this program will help.

alice said...

nice nice piece

alice said...

nice nice piece

Eileen said...

It is nice to hear so many others who feel similarly to me. I really believe conquering emotional eating is the key to health us happiness for those of us who suffer from it. I have tried to do the program a bit this week and it has helped. It is very hard to stop myself from emotional eating though, and I am resistant to it. However, I am going to keep trying and I hope, like Carrie said above, that it gets easier and easier. Rose, I think it is great that you are improving your self-esteem and relationships. Keep it up! I know exactly what you mean about people who don't understand emotional eating and their diet "advice". It is infuriating, and they just don't get it! But, I have learned that I can trust my own judgement about food. I KNOW what I should eat, that is what I always tell people. I KNOW wat is good and bad for me and what will make me thin/fat. The problem is that I eat to fill an emotional void in me, or to deal with anger, frustration, and feelings of failure. THIS is what I need to stop.

D said...

How do you talk to a 93 year old woman without causing her to have a stroke or a heart attack? You are not going to change her now she wouldn't listen then and she won't listen now. Yes, I need help, so how can I do it without hurting someone that I love, but don't necessarily like...any suggestions?

teacherdan said...

thank you thank you thank you...just what i needed to hear today...although i admit i was about to close out the email and delete it. it sure is something to think about and dwell on. i'll give it a try.

Donna said...

I knew that I was harming myself physically, and I knew that I loathed myself for overeating. But, I have never thought about these 5 complications from it. What an eye opener. Now, how do I stop this insane behavior? I've been doing it for so long, I can't stop. I'm not stupid... I know what to eat, what not to eat, portion sizes, etc., but how do I put it all into practice? I'm 58, and recently divorced after being married for 39 years. Hubby got a girlfriend, kicked me to the curb and now I'm trying to make it financially. I'm diabetic with a heart rhythm problem... take sooo many meds. Help me to help myself, and break this crazy cycle of emotional eating!

intelligent girl said...

It is tough - the choice between staying in the cycle and breaking out and facing some intesne painful emotions. I am trying to take the small steps but constantly feeling like there is a barely chained monster ready to let loose and it is horrid. And it is part of me - my internal rage. I guess that the only way forward is in small manageable steps. I too have diabetes and understand how quickly one can slide down the path of terror, but, when I have been sliding down it for a so long, how comfortable it has become. I am committed to staying off it whatever that means in terms of frightening and new emotions.

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