Shrink Your Waist, Expand Your Brain

Online Program to end Emotional Eating & Bingeing

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Shrink Your Waist, Expand Your Brain

MONDAY, JULY 14, 2008 | POSTED BY DR. GOULD

What if I told you that there was not only a way you could lose weight and grow new brain cells, but that you could also add vitality and optimism to your life? If I were you I’d say that’s too good to be true, sounds like snake oil. So, let me explain.

It’s actually possible, but it’s not as simple as taking a pill or having your brain zapped by some fancy machine.

You would have to do some serious psychological work. You’d have to break the emotional eating habit that we have been talking about, and also master some small piece of your own personal development.

For example, challenging your shyness or social anxiety patterns. There is now enough evidence from neuroscience to proclaim that when you actually change a “comfort habit” your brain creates new cells and new pathways.

One patient of mine who I see for her Emotional Eating issues shared that she was terrified of going to her daughter’s school functions. She was so anxious about not having anything interesting to say that she would hide out at the buffet table with a mouth full of food. Then, she didn’t have to worry about any boring comments seeping out.

Now, that she’s making better food choices she was uncertain about how she would handle the function without the respite of the buffet. She screwed up her courage and actually did fine talking to another mother and making a new friend.

By taking risks and talking to people she accomplished three things. She didn’t consume excess calories by needing the comfort of the food. By talking to people a new world opened up and that gave her new hope. And by accomplishing those two things and breaking her “comfort habit” of avoidance and eating, her brain was actually growing while her belly was shrinking.

A daunting task

I understand that what I have described can be a daunting task, but that’s what you will need to do if you want a refreshed brain and a smaller stomach. The alternative is not only living with the brain and the body that you have, but living within the constrictions of social anxiety and self-doubt about whether you are “interesting” enough, and all that that implies.

In the first blog of this series I asked you to think about one version of your divided self: the dilemma of deciding whether the emotional eating habit was a blessing or a curse for you. Whether it was something you wanted to keep or something you want to shed.

Today, we take a peek below the surface of that conflict and see that it is really a question about whether or not you are ready to grow out of some old defensive pattern, and take charge of your life in a new and different way. At the root of most emotional eating is a pessimistic thought that you won’t ever be able to transcend those defensive patterns you adopted earlier in life that have become constrictors of your life right now.

Your roles

Social anxiety and shyness are just examples of being stuck. There are many others that may apply to you like carrying on a role you adopted or were assigned in your family. For example, the black sheep, or the caretaker, or the angry one, or the rebel, or the ”good girl”, etc. Maybe you are afraid to succeed, or assert yourself, or set boundaries, or try something new, or be more independent, etc.

What is the connection between emotional eating and personal development?

First, it is just what I described today. When you feel powerless to grow beyond some invisible but potent constricting defensive pattern (e.g. shyness, social anxiety, etc), you become excessively hungry, and eat too much to blot out your frustration and pessimism.

However, the second is what I have described before in previous posts. Whenever you eat too much to shut off your mind, you deprive yourself of the self-knowledge that would allow you to change the restrictive pattern. You do away with the signal that tells you to challenge this pattern. As long as you continue doing this, you can’t make the necessary changes in yourself that give you the refreshed vitality that every person needs.

Given all of this, I hope you will have a better understanding of why I emphasize the importance of the pause technique every time there are signs of an impending emotional eating episode. That’s the potential moment of change when you have an opportunity to derail this self-defeating cycle of eating every time you feel frustrated.

You can then see that you are shutting off the frustration so quickly you can’t possibly pursue the remedy.

14 Comments In the order they were posted.

feelgreat2008 said...

I enjoyed the blog and can certainly see eating emotionally to hide behind shyness, insecurity, makes you feel even worse. I know the heavier you get the harder is to feel comfortable with yourself. the cycle is keeps you frustrated. I know my social anxiety can lead to binging and I will work on the pause.

GwendolynDancer said...

I so appreciate your wonderful insights you share! Thank You So Much! I enjoy reading your blogs, and I can feel that they make a difference on a subconscious level as well as conscious. Thank You again. Gwendolyn Dancer

Reacher said...

This blog helps me to see once again, the work that needs to be done and needs to be continued. I am so glad that I am doing this work. It is changing my life and helping me so much. A few blogs ago, was a referral to a web sight for EFT and I made the comment about feeling that an infomercial had been given to me, but now I know that I was WRONG. This is another valuable tool in the mind/body medicine that is taking place and being developed. I apologize if my negative comment kept anyone from checking it out. If so, please check it out now.

missy said...

this is my first 24 hour period of this information about shrinking yourself. My first reaction was wow. I really saw how and when I overeat and binge. but another important part was the seeing the whole cycle, not just part of it. The whole cycle is first the emotion that I want to dull, then the eating, and more importantly in m case, is the come down after I eat and I hate myself. Its a merry go round. I get a food high, then I come down. Then I need another food high then I come down. I don't think I've eaten out of hunger for over 43 years. I remember when it started, because of shame, and I haven't stopped since. Food has become my buddy, my job, my obsession, my compulsion and my partner in life. I didn't realize how much fun I've been missing. :

Violet said...

Thank you so much! This blog is such an encouragement. I've been making a real effort the past 2 or 3 weeks to be more conscious of my actions, and I find that keeping a food diary and seeing the amounts of food that I eat all written out on paper helps me to keep it all under control. Different things work for different people, but for me it's all about control, and if I plan my meals out a week ahead of time it saves me a lot of money and frustration.

mint said...

thank you for your supportive knowledge. it is a helpful tool to fixing a personal problem that i haven't been able to speak openly about.

My3doors said...

After reading your information I began to realize that I was finally looking at myself from the outside in. I would hear that small talk in the head. I would have just eaten and I would hear myself saying, go get some ice cream. Then maybe a half hour later, wouldn't a cheese sandwich taste gooood! Finally, after finally seeing this scenario I realized that I could step away from that small voice and control my urges to eat. I fought it. I got up and walked, cleaned, or whatever it took for me to get past the push to eat! The little voice is gone, yea. You would think the ego was good for you. No such thing.

valiant said...

Well, I have to remember that I've been doing this for 10 yrs, so changing won't come overnight. However, yesterday at work I had a tiny victory: I was frustrated and feeling stupid and hitting myself mentally for procrastinating and looking like a loser, etc etc, and I REALLY wanted to eat, I was getting frantic for the protection of smushing down the feelings of panic and worthlessness with food. I said no, not this time, and stepped outside for a few minutes. Now, I live in Phoenix, so 'stepping outside' this time of year means going into 112 F heat. I don't care if it's dry, it's still hot! : But pushing away from my desk really did help. I calmed down, took deep breaths, watched people on the golf course for a couple of minutes, listened to the birds, and gained some perspective. Then I went back inside and continued to work--and finished up the task a few hours later, without a binge. Wow.

kenneth nash said...

don't uderstand

cynthia said...

I began binging and purging back in 1976. Before that I binged often but didn't purge. I have had food issues for most of my life. I can't take it anymore, I'm ready for change. Thank you for this site.

bestgirl said...

Thanks so much for the blog. Yesterday I was about ready to throw in the towel and forget about even trying because I had two bad days. Reading the information on this website is a must for me. Every day I need to visit this site in order to stay on track! Thanks again!

murphy said...

The timing of this blog was perfect for me. I just attended a fund raiser and found myself quickly and quietly leaving early even when I had good friends around. I have been very critical of my behavior since. Reading your blog helped me to reframe this as a learning experience so I can better prepare for the next event. Thank you.

Cheryl51 said...

I wonder if all of the information can't be boiled down into one or two statements. We here fear our feelings and cope by comforting ourselves with food. The way out of our dilemma is to realize our emotions are temporary and are poor predictors of outcomes and that there are other ways of managing our moods. Did I do it? At 52, I've been stuffing since I was 13. There's a lot of developmental catch-up for me to do. There are many things I like about this site but I think it still needs some work. Sometimes I feel forced into the choices when I click on one radio dial but half way want another. Also, the information is so dense that even with all of the reviews at the start of the guided lessons and summaries at the end, I feel lost. I think this information could be dispensed with more simply. Still, Shrink Yourself is the only program of this nature that I've found online and it addresses some issues that truly need to be addressed for those of us who use food to stuff our feelings. Thank You.

al golub said...

I have been living with problem of compulsive over eating for 55 years and the shrink your self program is the only program that is starting to help me prevent EEA. I appreciate all the support this program is giving me and I feel better knowing Im not alone dealing with this over eating problem, thank you for sharing your comments,