Never Binge Again

By: Michelle Fiordaliso, MSW, CNC

Never binging again is possible but the biggest mistake that people who binge make is saying to themselves, "I'll never binge again!" Yet, we all do it. The food is finished and then we promise ourselves that it will never happen again. Even though almost everyone that binges says that to themselves, it sets you up for self-hatred, guilt and failure. You see, no one that ends a pattern of binging does it cold turkey. You don't decide to stop and then never binge again. It's just not how ending a pattern of binging works. That's because the binge serves a very important purpose. It makes you feel better emotionally. So, if you're committed to never binging again what are the signs along the way the signify that you're succeeding:

More time between binges (even something small for example, I used to binge every other day and now only do it every third day)
Shorter binges (My binges used to last two days, now they only last an hour)
Binges on smaller amounts of food (I used to eat a gallon of ice-cream, now I eat half a pint)
The ability to stop a binge in the middle (I used to not even realize I was having a binge till it was over, now I can stop myself in the middle)
Forgiving yourself more quickly after a binge ends (I don't talk to myself in a mean way when I binge, I have compassion for myself)
Bouncing back more quickly when a binge happens (in other words recommitting to understanding and stopping your binge pattern)
Understanding what feelings set off the binge (I was able to see that I had the binge after I had a fight with my boss)
The ability to see a binge coming (even if you can't stop it yet)

Being able to acknowledge the small successes along the way is a really important step on the road to recovery. It can be all too easy to see how far you still need to go and forget how far you've already come. Ending a binge pattern is hard work but you can do it. One day you might not binge at all but it won't happen by making a declaration, it will happen by being loving to yourself and staying aware. So, don't say, "I'll never binge again." Instead, take it one gentle step at a time. Remember, you're looking for progress, not perfection.

Comments In the order they were posted.

Anon said...

Wow, that's quite harsh blog there Dr Gould - it may be reality but for someone who's at the beginning at tackling there EE journey it's rather offputting, very parent-child, reminds me of my parents telling me off for over-eating when I was little

keri said...

The description is SO TRUE!! eating does numb the mind and take away the pain of thinking.

SueR said...

The question is, how do we deal with the things we're trying to avoid instead of eating? Uncomfortable feelings prompt me to eat, I recognize that.

Terri said...

This is so true! I have battled the whole food thing for so many years and I really believe Dr. Gould has the answer - food does not solve any of our problems. Eating does not make them go away. When we wake up from our food trance, the problems are still there. We have the power within ourselves to face our problems head on, but we just are not used to doing that. We have to know that we CAN!! We are so much stronger than we think we are. Reading Dr. Gould's book has really opened up my perspective and changed the whole way I look at food and my eating patterns.

Denise said...

I really liked this honest approach to the mind and denial and hiding from reality. When I first read SY, I wasn't at the place where I had come to terms with all of my denials and often found myself in the *food trance* or looking for ways to eat. I remember getting so upset with my friend for pointing out items in the different chapters to help me realize what I was doing, or what I wasn't doing! Just because *I* wasn't ready to acknowledge or accept the information, didn't change the reality, the honesty, of the information. After two years of studying emotional eating, I have to say that I am thankful for your honest and insightful exploration of the mind and how we can take back our power. Thank you and continue sharing your insights.

Barbie M said...

Dr. Gould, thank you for loving me so much that you tell me the truth I need to hear. I put a lot of energy into controlling circumstances so uncomfortable emotions don't flare up. Avoidance behavior, not intentional behavior that opens doors for my life to walk through. Better for me to show up than to hide behind food.

betsy said...

I understand that I eat to avoid emotions that need to be dealt with. When I eat into oblivion there is something real underneath that I am using energy to cover up. The problem is, I dont know what the emotion is! what are some ways I/we can recognize exactly what emotion is making me eat eat eat? then can you give us examples of more constructive ways of dealing with them? side note: i am a student, thus i spend most of my time writing. i am always told to journal to discover the emotion i am hiding, but quite frankly i get sick of spending all my time typing, please offer other options. thank you!

Megan said...

In regards to SueR's post: How do we deal with what we are trying to avoid? Well, what are we trying to avoid and why are we avoiding it? Why don't we allow ourselves to feel, think and search for a solution? Denial, avoidance and using food is easy but gets us nowhere and is so painful. We should work to find better coping skills and face life head on. It seems so much easier than carrying all that avoidance, denial, frustration, disappointment, guilt and weight around.

Jenny said...

I found this very interesting - trying not to sound too big-headed I am very intelligent and it annoys me that I keep ignoring the obvious truth that calories consumed versus calories burnt is the fundamental principle of weight. It's interesting to see that I am bypassing that bit of my brain to binge eat. What I'd like to know is how to stop it!

Rick T said...

Dr. Gould is right on target. How do you stop Emotional Eating EE? Read the book "Shrink Yourself" and/or subscribe to the online service and do the exercises. This is some of the hardest and most painful work I've ever done, but I'm finally experiencing freedom from EE and understanding.

Ronnie said...

I'm feeding my mind junk food to quiet the voice inside me that says "if you get skinny" you can leave this unfulfilling relationship- if you stay fat-you have to stay here. Why do I want to stay fat, and stay in an un-fulfilling relationship??? Does anybody know?

Natalie said...

LOTS of things numb the mind and stop us facing reailty - love does this. Is Dr G suggesting we don't allow ourselves to fall in love, because the intelligent part of our brain will be shut down and blinded to reality - we stay in a bubble? I'm serious...

Les said...

To answer Natalie, the trance/distraction of being in love doesn't make us overweight. The trance/distraction of food does. That's the difference.

Sarah said...

Wow great article. I completely relate and wish I could change so that when this sort of thing happens to me I could stop my own destructive ways. I don't think I'll evre change. Food controls me.

Gen said...

Thanks, Dr G, for all your helpful advice. I do exactly this good day/bad day thing. Mostly, my 'bad days' fall on week-ends, or when there is a special occasion. On those 'bad days', having been 'good' all the days in between, I binge like crazy, never eat in moderation, undoing all the good I've done on all my 'good days'. It's hard for me to realise why I do this. Maybe it's to reward myself for all the effort i put in on the 'good days'? How to change this awful habit?

Home | The Program that Ends Emotional Eating | Free Session - How to Stop Overeating | Tools & Articles to Help you Stop Binge Eating | Blogs - Weight Loss Advice from Diet and Nutrition Professionals | Forums - Find Online Support to stop Stress Eating | Success Stories & Video - Powerful Personal Stories About Binge Eating | Member Login | About Shrink Yourself | Site Map | Become An Affiliate for the Clinically Proven Program to Stop Overeating
Contact Us & Frequently Asked Questions

Copyright © 1998 - 2010 by IHS-Online, Inc. All rights reserved.