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Tip of the Week: Breaking the Cycle

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The following is an excerpt from the Shrink Yourself Book.

Basically, all diet plans and fitness programs advise you to just cut back or choose what you eat according to some logical plan. These strategies imply that you can consciously control your eating habits, choose alfalfa sprouts instead of ice cream, and deal with life's problems straight on.

For emotional eaters, however, this simply isn't possible; the urge to eat is too strong. Food has become a psychological tool, a way to avoid feelings that are too intense or anxiety-provoking. If you haven't learned how to cope with your life and your emotions in a way that doesn't include food, you will not be able to adhere to any diet plan for very long. While things are going smoothly in your life you may be able to stick to your diet, but when life presents a challenge you'll inevitably turn back to your old faithful fix, food.

Using food to deal with feelings, however, creates a vicious cycle. Food lets you avoid your problems or what's bothering you for a while, but when problems are left unattended they grow in intensity. This makes you stuff yourself and then you're filled with guilt on top of your original problem, and the cycle spirals out of control because then you need food to deal with the guilt as well as the original problem.

Sure, food can serve as a fabulous quick fix, it can bring immediate relief and pleasure, but it doesn't take long to see that one cookie doesn't do it. You end up needing more and more to fill up the emptiness from living an unexamined life.

Emotional eaters have struggled with this vicious cycle for years, or in some cases even decades. It's so difficult to change the cycle because simply recognizing it doesn't help, nor does willpower. In order to change this deeply entrenched pattern, you have to go deep below the surface to new places never before explored.

You need to analyze what's happening in your life - you need to address that which you're trying to avoid by eating, and arrive at a new response. That is the only way to break the cycle.


Feel empty... EAT, feel guilty... EAT, feel worse... EAT!

We can  help you "cure" the obsession and break the cycle.


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* Make emotional eating, food addiction, overeating, and binge eating a thing of the past! Not only will you see a difference in your body, you will see a difference in how you relate to food and everything else in your life. Click here to join now. *

29 Comments In the order they were posted.

Freda said...

The comments that were in your last article "Never Binge Again" about measuring our small successes were the most enlightening I have heard. I stepped back and saw that I was making headway "progress, not perfection".

Margaret said...

This is very reassuring.. I am currently seeing a CBT therapist, and we are not doing the usual CBT thing, but examining and looking at patterns. One step at a time, and as you say 'progress, not perfection'

denise said...

i want to lose a few lbs and i try to eat nutritious foods but sometimes i just want to eat too much and sometimes junk. as long as i stay with my plan i'm ok but as soon as i cheat, it just makes me want more food. thanx

J said...

I am currently dealing with a lot of pressure and deadlines, I don't even have the time to change my way of handling with all the things going on, I just have eating as the only way to deal with the pressure and bring relieve.. I hate my fat body...I want to become slim again so much!

Jo Jo said...

I totally relate with the pressure-filled life and trying to establish better eating habits - which of course take time I seem to never have! : Ever consider doing a cookbook full of quick-and-healthy recipes and sample menus? Food tthat's fast to prepare, satisfying and that will fill you up but not out as you deal with the other issues pressing in on you?

Rachel said...

YES PLEASEto the idea of recipes.. fast, healthy, easy and inexpensive ones.. I get so bored with what I eat and then junk food looks attractive

Wendy said...

I am very very exasperated!!! I am really battling trying to resist comfort foods!!I have so many emotional issues Im trying to deal with and my obese body is just adding to everything to all the other emotions!!! I am very desperate!!!!

Samantha said...

I have found that when I pretend that I didn't binge or purge that I am more likely to repeat the act. When I face my problems or deal with my emotionals things get better. I hurt at first, but I feel better sooner and I proud of what I did. I need to follow through with this more often.

trishdish said...

Hey Wendy. don't be desperate. You go Girl. in what ever little way you can. Like drinking water. instead of soda... LIke walking around your house for five minutes. Little is BIG

donald said...

I haven't heard from my girl friend, thought she had given up on me, decided to call her, she was just busy and couldn't call. after I talked to her, I was so relieved, I went out and had 6 donuts, and I am a diabetic. I felt good after, but being diabetic and eating 6 donuts is really stupid. Now I know what you mean.

BS said...

Nice info, but no solution

Kim said...

Like Donald, I find myself often emotional over my boyfriends issues and when they are seemingly resolved I go out and eat. I eat when I am relieved or when pressure is lifted ... and of course, I eat when I am bored or frustrated ... but i eat most when

lidiy  said...

everything from this artical is SO Obvious where is the actual help something that help to solve the problem not just talk about it. It it is not helping and just going on and on about it

lidiy said...

boring - nothihg new

Nadia said...

You are right.. we need to learn that and DO IT.

Cal said...

Solutions are much more important than post mortems however it is imperative to understand food is being used like heroin is being used by a heroin junkie, difference being you are a food junkie. Now try incorporating a programme into your life and meeting regularly with other recovering food junkies and you have a great opportunity to start making recovery progress too. I am not a recovering food junkie but I am a recovering drug junkie. My drug of choice was ethanol and cocaine although heroin, ecstasy, marajuana still did the trick when my drugs of choice ran out. I am living life on life's terms today and I am free from my scared self. Try it Lidiy

Sotong said...

Lidiy, I agree there is nothing new in the article. But I think all people trying to break free of a pattern need constant reminders, pointers, and encouragement, and this article provided just that. The actual problem solving is always up to us, and much harder that 'talking about the problem'...just remember that there are so many people in this journey together. Take care.

michele Collier said...

I am 64 and I want to tell the others that unless you deal with your emotional issues, they will continue to demand comfort food. I have been working on this most of my life and now that my metabolism is so much slower, it's a much bigger problem. Deal with it now folks.

becca j said...

I have recently discovered that the only way to begin to deal with the issues I didn't even know I had was to abstain from eating unless I was physically hungry, and the second thing was to make sure I am busy right after I eat because otherwise I'll talk myself into eating more because my mind tells me that I cant go without this comfort. It usually goes away after 15 minutes, especially if I am doing something that is challenging or "helping" in some way. This is not easy to do. Why? Because eating emotionally is a totally self centered act. I think only of myself when I am in this place. You may say,"Well this is my only comfort, I do for others all day long, so I am not totally self-centered." But really, are we not using this as an excuse for a binge? This is what works for me: 1 Pray for the strength that it will take to not eat when I am in emotional pain and the willingness to feel my feelings. 2. Hold on tight and write out my feelings as they come up. 3. Be willing to see what new avenues of stress relief come about as I slowly let go of the insanity of living to eat. Most importantly, if I am not nice to myself in other ways i tell myself I love you in the mirror at least once a day, and exercise, and have 15 min. of quiet time in the morning and evening this will not work. I tried beating myself into doing things the right way for years and the only thing that has worked is encouragement from deep within, along with persistence.

dan said...

I feel like such a looser, for trying and failling so many times. Where is the end to this? I've been addicted to heroin and don't remember it being this hard comming off it. I don't know what to do anymore, I can't live like this.. so I guess I have to try again?

sandy said...

It appears to me that some of you are waiting for a miracle answer or someone or something to come along with the magic answer. You know the answer, you just have to apply it. I know that I overeat, and I don't exercise, And as I get older, as mentioned previously it gets harder and harder to just stay the same. But it's not new, nothing is new. East less, move more = losing weight. We use food to control emotions or to to affect our mood. That's why it is a drug. It's a mind /emotion altering drug. I don't have any other answers to share, just my two cent's worth. For what it's worth. Give this a try, I am. Sandy

me said...

it is food addiction - clearly. When the momentary trigger to overeat happens, we are blinded as if we never overate before and do not know the consequences fat body, bad health of this overeating. Thus, we need help from something outside ourselves - God, a therapist, a successful overeater who's arrested the addiction. There are programs for this - and eating disorder therapy helps, I've been to both. To STOP the food addiction, keep a graph of the following: 1 your feelings at time of wanting to eat 2 what just happend at time u wanted to eat 3 what imagined/and or real feelings are coming up at time u wanted to eat and 4 what can you do INSTEAD... knit, read, write, listen to music, take a bath, chew gum, play a game, talk to a friend, help someone less fortunate, etc. Just my 2 cents..... but this is NOT easy trust me. The addiction will hold on until you continue to break it... with actions like above GOOD LUCK!!

sarah said...

Why do people hate themselves so much?! So you ate 6 donuts.. so what.. life goes on. Get over it. There is nothing wrong with you. We should love ourselves whatever, whether we go to the gym everyday and drink carrot soup or sit infront of the tv eatting chocolate. No-one should judge you, just be happy in who you are and don't let others try and tell you how to live your life.

sarah said...

One things I notice about these articles is they just keep going over and over what the problem is.. you eat too much.. yada, yada, yada... feel bad about yourself.. yada, yada, yada.... There is nothing positive here like LOVE YOURSELF...etc, etc.. Where are ALL the life affirming messages that you are a GREAT and WONDERFUL person no matter what your size is!!!! That's what I would say anyway... Who says we should all look like stick insects.. I don't want to anyway.

Shelia said...

I know exactly what I'm doing when I put food in my mouth to deal with emotional issues. The only other thing that sidetracks me is to sleep. Work is awful, grown kids call with their serious issues, best friend calls with her issues - but I don't really have anyone I can turn to. Food is an addiction yes, but not like drugs. If I could walk away from food and not have it around me, I could break this addiction. Unfortunately, I have to eat something three times a day. Could a drug addict or alcoholic make it if they had to imbibe three times a day? Morning and afternoon I do fine - at least when I'm at work but when I get home in the evening, to my sanctuary, and can relax and be "me", that's when I self medicate. I have sat with the feelings and it didn't solve anything except that I felt lousy. I feel lousy if I sit with the feelings and feel lousy if I overeat. Except after I overeat, I eventually feel soothed and calmed and satisfied, instead of put upon, stressed, outraged and ticked off.

Shelia said...

Which always brings me back to two different shrinks that told me if I get my life the way I want it to be, the weight will come off by itself. Makes perfect sense but I can't figure out how to do that. Does anyone ever have their life just like they want it?

y said...

Said it once will say it again, sugar anything made with it is as hard to get off of as heroin...took that in Pharmacology class and the Head Psychiatrist of an Addiction Unit that I studied under believed it. Overeaters Anonymous has got it right, eat 3 moderate meals a day and don't touch binge foods, write out your feelings, call others for support, go to meetings where your feelings come up in a safe environment..other programs Weighdown says you don't need to exercise to stay thin which is true because your body will naturally want to move and you will without having to preplan or pay for it. This 'love yourself' doesn't work because its an illusion that just saying it to yourself makes any difference, the old negative tapes play over it IF you aren't doing any of the above. Change friends if they overeat and YOU can't resist eating with them. The Programs say: 'going to any lengths' to get better..I don't know about this Program but it covers many issues that need to be addressed and these posts are cries for help and a wanting/desire to change...stay with it, one minute, one hour, one day at a time....

sarah said...

Yes you are probably right - if I was doing the program these articles would make more sense. Can't really afford it though and it's frustrating. I don't really know what to do. I worry that I won't change my life and eat healthily without doing this program. Am really feeling quite stressed about it.

runsal said...

I see, that praying for help to accept my feelings and praying to let go of judgement -judging myself and others-that's what helps. Learning to be with yourself, instead of running away with food. For about a month I became aware that on the drive home I would get excited about what I was going to eat when I got home. I stayed with those feelings, watching, observing, acceptingnot judging and in a month they went away. Now, on the drive home, I noticed that I am thinking about my husband, and 2 college sons home for the summer. As I let go of my addiction to comfort myself, I found true comfort in just living my life.

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