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Tip of the Week: Your Rebellion Layer

A lot of emotional eating happens because there is a leftover child inside of you that is asserting its independence by eating whatever it wants. It is rebelling against rules.

The man in one New Yorker cartoon says, "I became a vegetarian for health reasons, then for moral ones, now it's just to annoy people." If you've ever announced new dietary preferences to your family, you might have experienced something similar. One of our online members says, "Even when I tell my mom that I'm watching my weight, she still prepares all of my favorite fattening foods. It's almost like she doesn't want me to lose weight."

Six Ways You Use Food to Rebel

As you know, the angry rebellious self gets activated for a variety of reasons and acts that anger out through food and eating. Some people didn't get the independence or nurturance they needed early on, and now they assert their will, or they test the love coming to them, by eating in opposition to the demands of others. Some people eat because they want attention they didn't get, and they know wanton eating can do the trick. In some cases, the defiant self just stonewalls the expectations and demands it finds offensive.

In almost all cases the aggression itself is masked and disguised. Here are some of the most common theme-songs of the rebellious self:

Love me first, and then I will lose weight.
They made me this way, so I can't change.
I'll get back at them.
I'm not this body.
Food is the only pleasurable thing I have, so I'm not giving it up.
If I can't be perfect, I'd rather be fat.

In the Shrink Yourself program, we go into each of these six areas in depth and provide solutions to reverse this kind of rebellious thinking because when you rebel as an adult, you only hurt yourself.


	Shrink Yourself has helped thousands of people with the 12-week online program. With its tested method, it helps you end cravings, food addiction, overeating, emotional eating and even yo-yo diets. Learn about the program!

24 Comments In the order they were posted.

Irene Thompson said...

Does your book "Shrink Yourself" come in CD? I want to listen to it on vacation and I don't want to take the book. Thanks. Irene

Irene Thompson said...

It doesn't look like my comment went through. I'll repeat it. Does your book "Shrink Yourself" come in CD?

Michelle said...

Unfortunately, an audio book is not yet available.

Anonymous said...

see above

Sonja M. Walker said...

Congratulations, I am 3,4 6 on your list of ways to rebel! Read the book its about me.

Kathie said...

I think I eat becaue I hate myself and want to hurt me. I know I cannot kill me but I am trying to kill myself with eating. Why do I hate myself so much? I am also angry with everyone.

Amber said...

No offense Kathie but I think you need some serious therapy to overcome your hatred for yourself and others!

Michelle said...

Kathie, Thanks for your bravery. A lot of people who overeat do so for exactly the reason that you state. It's a way to hurt themselves and to keep people out. The fact that you've admitted that is an important first step. Now, you just need to know that you don't have to keep feeling that way. There is a way out.

goganesha said...

Re: # 4 "I am not my body" - actually this IS true and not a new age belief either but one that stems philosophically back thousands of years to Vedanta and the Indian philosophical tradition! This is not to say to mistreat one's body, only to realize that we are more than the body - its important to keep a perspective on things. It doesn't help to identify so much with one's body that you go up and down in mood swings every time a pound is added.

Karan said...

I think I eat because it was the ONLY way that my mother showed me love she is now deceased. She also rewarded me with food - for being good. "If you'll be good, I'll buy you a candy bar." I learned my lessons at a very young age. That child is still in control WAY too much!

Lynda said...

I eat when I am bored, tired, stress and especially feelings of loneliness, I'll eat if I smell food and it's nearby to eat. But Kathie got me thinking that maybe I too hate myself and really didn't know it so the next time I journal I am going to go a little deeper and see if there is some unresolve issue I have with myself or if I am blaming myself for something. However I have been doing really well with this site.

Pauline said...

I have nearly finished the book, it's amazing. Combined with my CBT therapy it has been a great help. I am thinking of joining the on line program as of yet I have not lost weight as I have many emotional issues that need dealing with. The book is the most sensible thing I have read, the diet industry should be exposed for what it is.

Karan said...

I have found through the years that journaling really helps me. I get a lot out when I write. But I run from it and I don't understand why. I think about writing, but for some reason I don't do very often - rarely, in fact. Anybody understand why that is?

Caroline said...

When you journal Karan, you are supposed to be self honest. At times you simply don't want to be. You may have to deal with something you don't want to face, that causes you pain or somehing you know ou have to change. It's the child within screaming at you that you don't want this, you don't have to deal with it and if you bury your head and don't do it it will all go away

Barb said...

Caroline is right, I know I have a hard time journaling because if I write down my "true" feelings, that does bring pain and reality, and I might not be ready to face that or make the necessary changes because it is easier to stay with the "familiar" than to move toward the change or the "unknown". If I change what will I become and how will I handle all the feelings? It seems easier to bury feelings and hope they will go away - but that is a false perspective that we all need to push through! I too am like Kathie I hurt myself or punish myself when I eat - because underneath I don't feel love or loveable so therefore "I'll so them" Which now after reading the book - I am coming to an understanding why I do things - but I need more help in getting away from this "childlike attitude" It's time to grow up!

denise said...

What Caroline said, got to me. I may be having a tantrum inside. The grown up part of me wants to be healthy for myself but whenever I start losing weight even a half pound, that little child starts screaming because she wants to eat, eat, eat. When I was little, I had tantrums, and this makes much since to me. Thank you Caroline

Karan said...

Does a person ever 'get completely over' this? I have made so much progress through the years with therapy, books, etc... but that child is still somewhat in control a lot of the time. I know that something happened within me a couple of days ago because I went to eating everything in sight - I've yet to figure out what happened though...... I find all of your comments so helpful. I enjoy communicating with others who understand! Is there a private place that we can all go and post together? How long will this page be available?

tanya said...

Relate to a few of those ..I've been in a 12 step program for food addiction that has a set food plan and I keep going back to bingeing...I sometimes feel like a child being told what to do and want to rebel, yet I also like the feeling of having been 'clean' and on a food program for awhile, just that I blow it all away...I also have the love me now, then I'll lose weight one.. think there's alot of perfectionism behing that one. It goes along with the if I can't be perfect I won't be anything logic. By the way, I am in therapy !!

Rasheda said...

I've recently lost 40 lbs as a result of eating right and excercising. However I still have about 40 lbs to go and I know that emotional eating is the reason that I'm at a stand-still in my weight loss. I'm a single mother with a three year old and I do eat to satisfy something missing in my life. And then I feel guilty and hit the gym.

Andrea said...

I have been struggling with binge eating and being a compulsive overeater for almost 25 years. It is very tiring to do this to myself.My weight is sky high and I would like to lose weight. I am in a desperate place and I do not seem to know how to lose weight anymore. My rational self knows that food intake=energy kalories and less food intake/healthier choices=weight reduction. My heart wants food and I cannot stop eating right now.

Angela said...

Wow..this is my first time writing. I've been reading the comments and they make so much sense. They make me feel somewhat normal, like I'm not alone. I've been struggling with binge eating as well for say about 15 years. I especially like # 4 "I am not my body" . As much as I hate to admit it people judge me by the way I look. I once lost some weight and definately felt a difference in the way people were treating me and acting around me. I gained the weight back and I know it is due to emotional eating. I eat when I'm not hungry. I also eat when others are eating almost like eating to socialize or something. I need to loose 15 lbs I'm 5ft and it just seems impossible.

Rachel said...

Wow, Rasheda, that's a really great achievement!

Agnes said...

HI Rasheda, That is such a great acheivement..are you willing to share your diet secrets..I'm sure I'm not the only on who wants to know what you used to do and how you changed that.

rae said...

I read someones comment and it was like a light. I have been strugling with wieght for a long time, but when I read a comment on getting the love from food and not from the people you need it from I really think this is what it is for me, I didnt grow up in a house with a lot of I love you's. But I did grow up in a house with a great cook.

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Shrink Yourself

End Emotional Eating

Tip of the Week: Your Rebellion Layer

End
Emotional
Eating