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Why We Binge

In a study conducted by Harvard University in February 2007, it was determined that binge eating is the most common eating disorder. It is more common than either anorexia or bulimia and yet it is not discussed or understood fully. If you're a binge eater, you're not alone. It is something that millions of people struggle with. Keep reading and you'll see why binge eating is so common.

Binges appeal to people in two ways. One, is that they provide something that I call the "Food Trance." The food trance is the mind numbing experience that binging offers. Here are some of ways that people describe the food trance:

"In a food trance; I belong. I fit in. I'm somebody. I'm in love. I matter. I'm not inadequate. Happier times are remembered. I'm soothed."

"I feel like a zombie out for a pint of blood when I go for these 'feedings,' as though I am going for a heroin fix on the corner, but it is legal and in the grocery store. There is no one or no part of me that can stop me from doing what I am about to do."

"If I am all doped up on a food high, nothing else matters."

"The perfect escape for the moment. When I concentrate on what I am eating I don't have to deal with other emotions."

When you read some of the euphoric descriptions of the Food Trance you can understand why food can become an over-the-counter form of self-medication. It is legal and readily accessible to anyone who wants to make it their drug of choice. It makes you feel good for a little while. That little bit of relief feels worth it when you're running from an uncomfortable feeling (it can be depression, stress, loneliness, boredom, anger, rejection). For some people, they'll even push off their feelings and "deal" with them later on by binging. I call this a delayed binge. You might be frustrated at work and spend the whole day thinking about what you're going to eat when you get home.

When your mind is screaming with thoughts, you're willing to run into the comfort of food as a temporary safe-haven-anything for a few minutes of quiet. However, when you shut down your mind too many times with food, binging becomes a compulsion. That means your mind always believes it needs food to deal with stress. Once that happens, you can't control what you eat no matter how hard you try.

The second way that binging appeals to people, seems paradoxical on the surface. When the binge is over, you're filled with regret. Your mind plays a tape of how awful it was that you gave in to the binge. You probably know the words well. But that tape feels better (and more familiar) to your mind than the one that talks about the things you're afraid to face (that could be relationship issues, low self-esteem, career issues, unmet needs). The post-binge guilt gives you something else to think about.

Consider my patient "Roxy." She is 45 and has three children. She told me about a frustrating day at the mall with her sixteen-year-old daughter. Her response to the frustration was to binge on a whole box of donuts.

She told me, "I was so mad at her, what else could I do?" Roxy is very smart, but in spite of my prompting and questioning, she couldn't think of any other option but to binge. Her pattern of binging by stuffing down feelings with food was so deeply ingrained in her mind that it short-circuited her common sense. Binging felt like the only way to dial down her frustration and rid herself of angry thoughts toward her daughter. More than that, her guilt about the binge stopped her from feeling guilty about not being a good-enough mother-a mother that would intuitively know how to handle the situation with her daughter in a graceful and effective way.

The Three Causes of Binges:

You binge to cope with your feelings.
You binge to create the illusion of feeling good.
You binge to feel "safe" or to shut out the world.

If you're a binge eater you probably already know the painful cycle of desperately wanting to binge, giving in to a binge, feeling remorse after a binge, and then promising yourself a binge will never happen again. Then you hate your -self when it does inevitably happen again. It's this cycle you need to understand before you can eat sensibly. Attempting to diet just sets you up for failure. First, you must understand how compulsive eating has been benefiting you. If you understand why you depend on binge eating, you'll be in a better place to let the pattern go and find better ways to deal with emotional hunger. Shrink Yourself will help you understand why you binge and more than that, it will give you the tools to stop.

You must understand that there is a part of you that feels afraid to let go of the binging cycle because you don't know what will happen to you if you don't have food to quiet your mind. I'm here to tell you that learning how to quiet one's mind is an essential part of adult development. When you learn how to do it, you're ready to give up binge eating. Not only will you lose weight, but the whole quality of your life can change for the better, too.

42 Comments In the order they were posted.

Paula said...

Thank you for posting your article. It helped me understand much about why I binge. I also purge at times. I was an extrememly obese child, and adolescent up into early adulthood until it took wiring my mouth shut to lose the unwanted weight. However, I have since had a brain tumor, and live on seizure medication. When I purge, I often come close to, or have seizures. Are there any sites that you would reccommend that would assist me in changing this habbit? Regardless if you are able to direct me in this manner or not, I indeed sincerely thank you for what you have posted. It is very helpful in understanding parts of me that I previously have not been able to.

lila said...

you too the words right out of my mind. i have talked to a doctor about this. he put me on anit-depression meds. and wants me to join a program to speakwith a psychologist. i know what and why i have this problem. i know the cycle i am caught in . i am not certain how i got here. is it due to my back condition three disks, and a whole slew of other conditions with my back or the un diagnosed low thyroid condition or my marriage it is like tryiing to figure out if the " what came first: the chicken or the egg " well 25 lbs later, it doesnot matter. i went from a healthy physically active and fit woman to someone i don't know or like

susan surowaniec said...

this is something new for me, I cannot seem to stop eating, I am hungry all the time. No will power and not sure what to do about it. Please help.

mbali said...

I am aware that i am a binge eater and i find it even harder to break the cycle now that i am arware of this problem.I am overweight and everytime i look at food 'fat' automatically pops into my mind but i just can't seem to pull away from eating excessively.Once i start eating i just cant stop and i do this by telling my mind that today is the last time ibinge eat and the next day the same thing happens the end of the week i have gained 2 kilos.I used to be a very beautiful girl with a good figure a couple of years ago bt now with all the weight gain i can barely even recognise myself.I am 18 years old and i am doing my first year in varsity,here people are so weight conscious and if you are slightly overweight you automaticcally do not fight in.I have developed a very bad attitude towards guys and do not let guys get close to me,so i do not even have a boyfriend imagine how lonely that must be because i feel i am not good enough to be loved.please help me because right now a am lonly i know i have a problem,please because life does not feel worth living for.

gg said...

I think reading any of Louise Hay's books, and maybe a subliminal cd to stop overeating may help.., also, stay away from any food with High Fructose Corn Syrup. It leads to overeating every time. Read all the food labels. Lastly, everyone is worthy of love. And life is a gift.....there's always hope.

Susan said...

OK so how do you quiet your mind without eating?

Christine said...

Hi everyone...reading these messages...my heart goes out to all...I have to share that I found what works for me in helping me to refrain from compulsive overeating is Overeaters Anonymous. It is a wonderful program with caring people who totally understand the suffering we go through. There is a solution...don't give up...there is physical and emotional healing of this condition. I lost 72 pounds on this program, and that was the least of the wonderful things that happened to me. I have learned not to eat when I am under stress, or when I feel lonely. Give it a try...it is all over the world...You have a friend in OA.

Molly R. Schwartz said...

The fear of being left with "nothing" if I stop the option of having my secret binging --well, I can hardly think about it ... the information in this section is so "right on", it is such a relief to have it discussed even in the middle of all the anxiety change produces in me.

Michelle said...

Binging and purging become an compulsive act to alleviate anxiety. You use them because they work. Even though their effects come at a great cost and are very temporary. When you binge you try to fill an empty hole or stuff something down. When you purge you try to get rid of something, some belief or feeling about yourself that is intolerable. Our program helps you go directly to the source so you learn what real comfort is. Right now, you probably believe you're powerless to create real comfort for yourself. But this is what our program teaches you how to do. It's not easy but with our help it an be done.

Shirley A Rimmer said...

I am a binge/emotional/comfort eater as I have said on another of these articles. I do it to fill a big gap in my life. I never had a proper relationship with my dad. I am scared to stop binge-ing, its a compulsion with me. This is very,very difficult. Shirley

Dion said...

Just this week I think I have narrowed my binge trigger to sex. When I can not recieve sexual satisfaction , I binge until I reach a pleasure state equal to an orgasim. I feel good being able to have identified the trigger and that's boosted my confidence...now I need a treatment plan that doesn't include food.

diane said...

as i sit here reading these comments, all i can think about is how full i am and hating myself for ending my day with 5 chocolate chip cookies and a big helping of ice cream. i just feel sad and i can't take it back now all i can do is go to bed and hope that tommorrow i can overcome the urges. i have a good life, why do i try to sabbatoge it when things are going well? i feel miserable right now and i really have no reason. i wish nothing more than for someone to help me. i recently lost 50 lbs eating and excersizing now i feel miserable and just want to eat i should feel great.

Michelle said...

Diane, the fear of success is almost as big as the fear of failure. We human beings are more comfortable in a state of longing than in a state of having. There could be some fear associated with what you will do if you lose all your weight. How will you spend your time and energy? What if you don't get all the things you hoped would happen when you lost weight? All these things are normal.

Ann said...

I am a binge/comfort eater....recently I joined a gym and started a diet lost 2 stone....as I have done many times before....I felt better....looked better......but as soon as people start noticing and conplementing me I start eating again worse than I did before I feel like i am on a merry-go-round and I can't get off!

Candice said...

No one will believe I am a bulimia because I project myself so well and positive in front of people. Behind friends and family, I binge because I felt down/stress/miserable/afraind of become fat, it has become something I crave and my mind just could not get off food. I will eat tons of food, then I make myself throw out afterwards. So, my weight is up and down. I hate to go thru the cycle....but yet still crave for having food to comfort my mind. I would rather choose to binge alone than to socialise with friends. I tried to stop but I really do find it very difficult, it is costly too to binge with all the food I crave...it is also hard to focus on the thing I want to do.....

Kathleen said...

i just love eating especially sweet things - its always tomorrow i will be good but then i just stuff my face that day too- the thing is i love eating but i am in a bad humour all the time - i wish i could just eat like a normal person - when i am not eating all i am doing is thinking about food

Claudia said...

I have a lot of things going on in my life I am in college and soon to graduate, next year I am happy about my upcoming career but also stressed out, I also have children whom I worry about, including 2 teenagers, and I worry about getting older, and I worry about family members, When I worry, I tend to overeat ,I also have a sweet tooth, but I also love breads, pastas and comfort foods, I want to lose wieght to feel /look better and to ease pressure on myslightly arthritic knees so i can walk up that darn hill, near to my house ! without feeling out of breath !I also hate stairs!I just want to feel healthier and live longer to take care of my kids/have a career/behappier/enjoy life

Lynne said...

"Mind numbing trance". Those words hit it on the head. I have been suffering from terrible binges for the last 5 days and have gone through a whole mutlitude of emotions. After feeling so bad, I told myself that tomorrow was a new day and that I would start again. Tomorrow came 4 times and after another terrible binge today, I was lucky enough to find this site. I feel so relieved to know that I am not alone and I'm looking forward to trying to deal with this once and for all. It's a terrible place to go to in your mind and a lot of people just don't understand it.

kathy said...

i have read through these stories and how well i can relate to them.when i was 9 my mom ran off i fffound out the man i thought was my father wasn,t i haven,t ever met him.i was sexaully abused by this man .i think i am pushing down those feelings with food.but the sad thing is it killing me being this way.i just want to be healthyand forget the past

Dawn said...

I am scared to death to let go of my BEST friend!!! I have relied on food since I was 9 years old when my father left us my mom worked 3 jobs to make ends meet. I didn't have any parental support felt very lonely. To this day I have used food as my best friend because it has always been there. I have been on every diet known to man look where that has left me. I have read the Shrink Yourself book am ready to begin my life today. I'll keep you posted!!

Clare said...

There's so much truth in this article... I kept nodding as I read it, word by word...understanding why we do something is one thing, knowing how to resolve it is another...

Mary said...

Thanks for this thought provoking article. I am grateful there are programs out there to arrest the food addiction binging cycle, just as there are programs out there to stop almost any addiction. They are based on the 12 steps of AA. Such programs have helped millions! They are not for profit, anonymous, and getting rid of the weight is just the start. They offer a life time of support and happiness! Dare to explore FA, OA, or any 12 step...you might just find your miracle -

J said...

I work with a girl who eats all day. she hides food in her desk. in drawers and in the kitchen we all share. she is very overweight . she has started stealing food from other employees, and everyone is getting very upset. we all know who it is but she denies it. what can we do to help her?

John said...

I have been binge eating for 46 years .I didn't know i was afflicted with this condition until a few weeks ago I began to do a serious in depth self assesment. And now I have decided to go to an Internal Medicine doctorso he can write me script for an appetite suppresant . When I was a child, were emphatic about having me eat everything.

Elliott Ann Estes said...

My Dad was an alcoholic, and I thought, "Food is my alcohol. How could I fall into this trap after everything the family endured with his drinking?" Now, with the understanding gained from Shrink Yourself that avoiding my emotions created a sense of helplessness and that food can never fix that, I've learned that being absolutely present in my life works, and I'm able to face the issues that were keeping me stuck. This new inner freedom is even better than the weight loss! What were the odds I'd ever say that? I now have alternatives to the addictive behavior of seeking too much of anything, whether it's food or watching TV or shopping--because I can trust myself to deal with strong feelings in a positive way. I'm amazed and very grateful, and loosing one to two pounds a week.

rebecca said...

I'm so glad I found this sight. I look forward to the experience and hope to be able to find a healthy way to deal with my emotions.

gg said...

Has anyone picked up on the "binge voice"? I found out I use several lines in my mind before I do that...like, it's one little bite! Or, something eimilar. I never noticed it until this month. It's totally weird! Anyone have a binge voice in their head, too?

Cory said...

Why does it seem that only women come forward with this? I am a 32 year old man who works out every day and eats super clean until it comes to friday and saturday night. I don't like to go to bars or clubs, so I go to the store and spend $60.00 bucks on junk and then eat it all and purge through vommitting and laxitives. This only lowers my self esteem, which should be very hi. I am a attractive man with a good job, I need to get over this stupid binge eating now. help!

Emma said...

I am a 19 year old girl who recently came back from travelling and have decided to go back to this particular country to stay for 6 months. there is so much to my life which i could enjoy right now and about 4 months ago i had been on a strict regime of a ridiculous 800kcal diet a day and ended up on the verge of anorexia. i have now gained over a stone through binge eating which i have done many times in the past and i want to go back to being thin. i cant think about anything else and its getting ridiculous. i feel gross from it and am sick with the tomorrow promises. i just want to lead a normal healthy life and feel good. i dont want to be stuck in this cycle any more.

Yo said...

Thank you very much for the article. It says most of what I am. I have been a binge eater for ~3 years. I used to be fit. but ever since I immigrated to Australia, I couldn't but eat like crazy. My binge eating food changes from time to time. from family size breakfast cereals and 20 slices of bread, 1kg of sultanas 3 years ago, to whole packet of chocolates and cookies and full 2L icecream, to now's 2L juice custard.etc. All eaten in less than 2 days each. I have gained 50lbs through the time, with ups and downs. I have been tempted to go to see dr every now and then, but I had experience of unhelpful dr which kept me from doing so. I really hope one day I can be the old me again. Looking in the mirrors or old pictures of myself really hurt me. I have been anti social all the year, so scared to meet friends, not even online or over the phone... Life really sucks.

Yo said...

TD said...

So many of your comments sound all too familiar. I had lost about 75 lbs after my last child and kept it off for about two years. Even while I was loosing the weight I was having to work through my binges. I learned to binge on very healthy foods and less often. I am going through a very emotional time in my life right now and feel very out of control. I have been binging on more carbs and cheeses now and have gained 15lbs in just 4 months. I feel just sick about it and like I am losing myself. Like most of you I am tired of the tomorrows stacking up and still not gaining control. This is my first time to hear about this book and some of these other programs. I normally don't post on sites, but this just hit home and everyone was so honest about their struggles, I just felt compelled to say something. Good luck to us all!!!

Maria said...

I'm caught in the vicious cycle and can't break it. I don't have the money to see someone about it and I don't know what to do. I try and try to stop but nothing seems to work...I tried the whole portion control but the small protion turns into a binge/purge. I don't know what to do. mreupert@gmail.com

Michelle said...

Really great information! I wish I had seen this earlier. I will be purchasing the book for sure.

candice said...

this is me all the way. i am so sick of living this way. i was a happy, physically active, healthy eating person. i have gained 20 lbs. in two months. i know that i eat so that i dont have to deal with all of my emotions In the process it has made me fat, lazy, and depressed. i am so beyond ready for change.

eating and moving is my way of avoiding said...

I just looked back and realized i have been binge eating for 14 years and 4 months. during these times, i was fortunate to have lived 6 countries experiencing things anyone would fantasize about. But yet, the only thing in my mind have been food and losing weight. I have to say i am doing much better than some scary period when i skipped all classes to wake up to eat and go to bed when i became to full and tired from eating. I am 20 pounds more than WHAT I THINK I SHOULD WEIGHT and still think tomorrow will be the day i change all this. When I read those messages written by 18 or 19 year old girls, I feel for you because i was there. You might feel miserable, but at least you are young. I still don't know how i can get myself out of this, but i think i can start by thinking what I have other than what i don't have by being overweight and having this problem.

Kathy said...

I have been binging on junk food all day long a caloric rampage ... I go up and down in weight ALL the time ... I constantly start diets only to last no more than two weeks. Once I lose a few pounds and feel better about myself I start binging again. Since I am a recovering alcoholic who's been sober for nine years, I think I replace alcohol with food as the junk I eat gives me a high. I know I'm not trying to stuff feelings or anything else you described in your article. When I plan a meal out when I am going to eat whatever I want including dessert I get really excited and have loads of fun doing it, but I always, always feel guilty after. I eat so much crap I make myself sick. And I feel like crap over and over again when my clothes are too tight.

Tanya said...

This article describes exactly how I have felt for the last 7 years. I have binged myself into a 110lb weight gain. I have been lying to myself and to this unrecognizable reflection in the mirror for years. After every binge, I think, okay, this is the last one... and then a few days goes by and I do it again and again and again. I just want the vicious cycle to end.

monica said...

hi everyone, i have always struggled with my weight since childhood, it never seemed to get that out of hand, but, ofcourse always felt it. i suppose because you never know where your headed from here, and invariably, at some point it could and probably will get worse. i'm now 39, turning 40. i have 3 beautiful children 5, 3 almost 2. i am at the highest weight i have ever been, being 125kg. 6 years ago, i needed to lose 10 - 15kg and weighed around 83kg. Slowly, I have mismanaged the balance in my life and it's gone from bad to worse. it is now time to claim back my essence, myself, what i deserve, life without unnecessary pain. harmony is what i'm looking for, but how to? i have been seeing a psychologist for hypnosis, but it doesn't seem to be having any sort of success. anyway, it's a good place to get things off your chest, and like someone has said above, there is always hope. never give up. i guess i just don't want it badly enough yet. there is something blocking me. why, i don't know. it's ridiculous, we are so obvious, how can you hide over eating when you wear it on your body. especially, when you know the only reason you don't want to see people is for fear of how much weight you've put on since last time they've seen you. so, even if you see them, you don't relax enough to enjoy the moment. bugger! it's like a self propelling downward spiral. the journey i need to start is all about finding the way towards mastering the unnecessary, negative actions, behaviours and effects my relationship with food is having on my life. take care all of you and good luck!!!

Carolyn said...

It is sad to read these posts. My heart goes out to you all. I am a fitness professional of over 30 years and my advice to you all is that you are not supplying your body with what it needs to stay healthy. With the poor quality highly processed food of today full of unnatural chemical it is any wonder that our bodies are being deprived. It might be protein, or iron or calcium or a zillion other nutrients. The solution is to buy yourself a juicer and drink a cup of mixed vegetable juice each day and before long the cravings with disappear when your body gets what it needs. For further info and a proper eating plan go to http://StopFoodCravingsFast.com

Anonymous said...

Jill said...

I dissagree with Carolyn's comment and urge her to do more research in regards to binge eating. I am a fitness instructor as well as incredibly health consious person. On a regular day, I eat very healthy, including all the ideal vitamins, minerals, veggies and fruits, and daily requirements that most naturopaths and others alike would award me for. I recently moved from my family and friends to a location where I know very little people. I have also been battling with some stress related health issues, and dealing with some underlying problems that are the main creaters of said stress. AND recently.. d-da-d-DA! I have begun to binge eat. I didnt even know I was doing it at first, I would tell myself I was just hungry, "lacking a specific nutrient that my body needed that I wasn't getting and wasnt unaware of", but that just isnt the case. I can't beleive the amount of food I can eat in one sitting, and the cravings I have been getting are so severe it feels like a serious addiction, like if I don't get it right now I am going to freak out!! And my "binge voice" as one commenter put it above is a devious rebel, telling me it doesnt care, that it really isnt THAT much food and it wont listen to my quiet pleads to stop already and go for a walk outside. The food is my new best friend in a town of strangers, instead of making plans with people, I make plans to eat, it is a comforting feeling, sitting there with a warm bowl of something delicious, when you are sitting at home alone. But after the bowl, you have just a peice of toast, but that didnt "fill" you up, so you have another and then maybe a banana, because that's healthy and eh... I'll just snack on some nuts I have over here until they are done and then I fall unconsious for about an hour later, and surface again after basically eating everything in my kitchen, with a stomach that, if someone saw me would assume I was 9 months pregnant and I hate myself again. Which I can almost feel comfort in because I know that feeling all too well. And altho I am extremely healthy the majority of the time, when the pendalum swings me into the binge eating realm, any kind of food flies if its what I want in that zombie-like state. Binge eating is a real thing, an addictive state of mind, an emotional outlet and a great avoidance tactic with relation to thoughts or plans about anything other than what you are going to eat for dinner when you get home, it's not just the outcome of a nutrient deprived human body. It's a terrible feeling and the only person that can pull you out of the continuous, habitual, cycle, is YOU and we are stronger than we realize most of the time too, so keep it up you guys! For, what does not kill us, makes us stronger! AND smarter than fitness proffesionals that don't understand a dam thing about nuthin! hee hee

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